Cashiers do have to announce it
And I like to announce it!
Can you give me two tens for a five?
The announcement is a lifehack. It’s for external accountability of the change. When I’m the only one who knows I intend to change, I can easily negotiate exceptions: “it’s been a rough day, and I deserve it; I’ll try again tomorrow.”
When I announce the change, I have to come up with an excuse that another person will accept, or be seen as a failure.
I’m somehow the literal exact opposite. I tried doing what you do for ages until I finally realized that it was torpedoing my motivation: if my locus of validation is already in other people, then by going around telling people upfront, I’m going to ride the high of unearned, unconditional validation and fail to get anything done. Then, once I want more, I recognize that the spotlight effect is a thing and either a) nobody is going to give me any more (or any more enough to matter – crumbs) or b) if I’ve promised some real consequential, eye-catching shit, the aim becomes avoiding immense shame for failing an expectation rather than earning validation for progressing a goal (which introduces stress – not the eustress kind – that haunts me at every step).
I’ve found that SMART goals and ACT (too many acronyms, I know, but the latter has multiple meta-analyses about its effectiveness; I’ll live with it) have helped a lot.
By mindfully setting goals according explicitly to my values, I can keep my locus of validation internal and reward myself every small step of the way. I might get external compliments along the way if it’s something noticeable, and if not, by the end, I can tell people what I did if I still want some supplemental, external validation.
That’s not to say it makes me hyperproductive – just that it makes me functional, which is itself a goddamn miracle.
Yeah I think I relate more to your perspective and I think I may even have read this in a psych book somewhere (though I forget to be honest) that it’s generally not a good idea to announce plans to do something because it feels like by announcing it you have already gone part way to accomplishing that thing and it can make progress harder.
That’s funny because for me it’s the opposite, if I announce it to anyone, the likelihood that I ever follow through drops off a cliff. If I tell someone else I’m going to change in some way, I get that serotonin without doing anything. If I don’t tell them then the achievement only comes at the end.
Also this meme is exactly how I’ve always treated new years. New years is just an excuse to not change. If you’re going to change do it when you first think of it, don’t wait for some specific day. Also it makes it so you have an excuse, “ah didn’t do my New Year’s resolution this year” and everyone else understands cause they did the exact same thing.
I’ve found it to be the other way around. It’s easier to find an excuse to another person or as most changes take from months to years then those will be forgotten anyway.
It’s harder to find reasonable excuses for myself and even then I’m still gonna see myself as weak and failure.
Well I’m still gonna see myself as weak and failure even if is succeed, but that’s beside the point.So most changes are for myself and there’s no point to announce or tell others. If they notice somewhere down the line then fine, but it’s completely irrelevant.
Not every change is an improvement, but every improvement is a change.
Fml when the exterior is just masking and changing all.the time, dragging me along (and draining my energy).
