AngryDeuce

First thing I thought too lol

Second I thought was “Prepare three envelopes”

I’ve read that before, but I guess what strikes me as odd is how it wasn’t until I hit my 30s that I suddenly started shitting my brains out whenever I consumed more than a small glass of milk. I drank a lot of milk growing up…it was pretty much that or water much of the time, and even after I went off to college and stuff I still went through a gallon by myself every 3 or 4 days. Not even just milk but WHOLE milk…I didn’t switch to skim until my 20s when I moved in with my gf and she hated whole milk.

Anyways, after three decades of no issues whatsoever, and zero change in my habits, suddenly my body decided “NYET! NO MORE!!!” and my ability to properly digest lactose evaporated basically overnight. I didn’t even make the connection until I was traveling and wasn’t drinking any milk on my trip and didn’t have any problems, but then got nearly crippled the next morning after I had a big ol bowl of Captain Crunch before bed the night I got home.

If there’s a realistic choice beyond “Corporate Whores” and “Corporate Whores who also want to institute Christian Sharia law in the US”, and you still support the whores, then yes, I will be right there front and center to call those people scumbags all day long.

However, everyone knows that is not the case in US politics within the electoral mechanisms we’re currently operating under. Through that lens, being the person that knowingly votes for some niche candidate that they know isn’t going to win any election against those two, knowing full well that by doing that you’re making it that much easier for the Christofascists to scrape out a win and continue pushing this morality horseshit on the people…no, you don’t get a pass. Not anymore.

The cost of a dozen eggs is of no fucking consequence when LGBTQ+ society is under assault. The price of a gallon of gas pales in comparison to the fact that ICE is out there literally wiping their ass with the constitution every day and the courts have no recourse to stop them. The fact that your property taxes may be a point or two higher or lower means precisely dick when you’re watching a war be instigated and fought that nobody wants solely to distract the people from the fact that our president belongs on a sex offender registry so his movements can be monitored for the rest of his disgusting life.

I haven’t considered myself a supporter of the Democratic party since they sidelined Bernie, but if my choice is them, or someone that thinks the things I listed above are just fuckin great, you’re goddamn right Im going to pick them. Because at least with them we can stop the fucking bleeding. With the other guys, we’re just counting down until someone decides to trigger a nuke and once that happens elections as a concept are going to seem quaint let alone all the other luxuries we enjoy like running water or a functioning power grid.

Hey at least you guys all have fact checkers in your pockets now lol

Imagine what this was like when we had to go to the library and find a book to prove them wrong lmao

This is my curse…I feel like Cassandra over here, seeing the ways that someone elses plan could go sideways, warning people around me that there is a chance that it goes sideways, they ignore everything I say, the plan goes sideways, and theyre all surprisedpikachu, waiting for me to step in and fix it all.

At home…at work…fucking A.

Even just taking the time to run some hot water over the dishes youre throwing in the sink as youre throwing them in the sink will help. You dont need to wash them, just get the concrete sauce off the plate while its still wet before its had 3 hours to turn into superglue that requires one to get a putty knife from the garage to remove lol

Not trying to argue so please please dont take it that way, just wanted to add anecdotally that my wife says the same thing, yet more often than not when I pass the kitchen the waiting time thats allegedly being used for other cooking related tasks and cannot be reallocated to cleaning as she goes is actually being used to surf Insta, Pinterest, or Etsi lol

And also to be extra clear, I could care less what she does when she’s cooking dinner up to and until the point that the deal is that she cooks and I clean. Since I genuinely do clean as I go when im cooking and she’s cleaning, I feel like she’s violating the terms of our agreement when her cleaning up behind me always only takes her 10 minutes yet whenever im cleaning up behind her Im dealing with so many pots and pans that the water heater gets tapped out halfway through and im still standing in front of the sink over an hour after I started cleaning up the unholy tragedy that is often left behind in her wake.

When two people are cooking the same basic meal and the cleanup time is orders of magnitude higher depending on who is cooking the meal, thats a conversation worth having in my book lol

Didn’t even get a reminder to renew my subscription, dirty bastards.

The chipmunks were cute and didn’t hurt nothing (though their pre-dawn chittering was fuckin loud for how little they are, would wake us up even with the windows closed) but the squirrels were true assholes. We invested lord knows how much money into squirrel proof feeders and they would retaliate by eventually getting around the defenses and then knocking the shit down on the ground so they could empty our feeders in an afternoon. They would rip open the suet cages and just drag the whole block up into a tree and gorge themselves on it, and if they couldn’t open the cage they’d steal it in the cage lol

Even my wife, who is like a disney princess and wants to go find a clearing and sing and cuddle all the animals, would chuck hickory nut shells at them whenever she was out there so the birds got something.

I didnt get lactose intolerance until I was in my 30s. So weird that my body just decided “Nah, Im good with dairy products” all on it’s own.

Really wish I would have discovered that earlier in life, before I developed my crippling cocoa pebbles addiction.

Brian Regan called them “Me Monsters” lol

I fucking hate that shit lol

My last house bordered on a big undeveloped green space; we had , as we called them, ‘owl years’ and ‘bunny years’. You could see the pattern clear as day and predict it to a certain extent. If there were a ton of bunnies out in our yard at dusk in the spring, the following year was going to be an owl year, ostensibly because the eating was real good. If there were hardly any bunnies out there, the following year was almost definitely going to be a bunny year because the owls moved on or starved over the winter.

But there was no balance, that’s the weird thing. It was almost binary…but it wasn’t directly cyclical. We would know by early spring if this was going to be one of those “we need to put fencing around every single flower and plant in our garden” years, or if there were enough owls around to eat all the bunnies and give our garden a break, but it didn’t alternate in any pattern we could tell. We just had to wait and see how many bunnies we had out there at dusk. There were far more bunny years than owl years, but whereas in owl years you would hear them out there hooting all night long, in bunny years…nothing.

Tangentially…it was always a squirrel year. IDK if the owls didn’t care for squirrel or what but only the bunnies and the owls were locked into this relationship…the chipmunks and squirrels were unaffected. The owls just really only wanted bunnies I guess lol.

In the lord of the rings mmo back in the day you could play an instrument and actually play notes and program songs to play them in game but most people would just post up at the inn, like dozens of people, and just play the most discordant faceroll shit imaginable to the point where you had to disable it in the settings.

Kinda broke the immersion a little bit, unless roving squads of bards performing the medieval equivalent of a yoko ono song in everybody’s face was a commonplace occurrence in those days.

When I turned 30 I was quite ate up about it.

Now almost 20 years beyond that point, when a colleague turns 30, “oh whatever you’re still just a baby lol”

Funny how that works